Menu Close

Sparkle Tantra

Tantra for Couples & Singles

Is the Clitoris where it’s really at?

Reading Time: 4 minutes.

Short answer. NO.

Long Answer. The start, beginning and end of female arousal lies within the breasts. Or more specifically, the nipples. Not the clitoris. This might be a surprise, but there are lots of misconceptions about female arousal.

I talk more about nipple action in this bog post here, but let’s look at breasts a bit further, in terms of arousal…

Peaks vs Valleys

Many partners will reach straight for the clitoris at the start of love-making. The problem with this approach is that too much clitoral stimulation can actually ‘over stimulate’ the clitoris. This can then generate a ‘peak orgasm’, the type of orgasm which is localised around the genital area, where the orgasm finishes very quickly.

On the other hand, a ‘valley orgasm’ is the type of orgasm which is a whole body experience and is far more satisfying and longer-lasting than a localised peak orgasm. The valley orgasm is the type of orgasm which is cultivated layer-by-layer and where your woman’s arousal originates from a different place. Specifically, the breasts. Stimulating the breasts then radiates out to her whole body so that she can be shuddering with pleasure and delight throughout all of sex. Waves of this pleasure can still be tingling for hours afterwards. A valley orgasm also has the potential to come in multiples – meaning – a woman experiencing multiple orgasms during one love-making session.

‘Valley orgasms’ are the ones we want more of, and these originate from the breasts and nipples, not the clitoris

The Nipple Connection

The nipples have a direct connection to the clitoris, both physically and energetically. This means that by stimulating the breasts, the clitoris will also be activated. That’s why in Tantra, the breasts are the focal point of female arousal, not the vagina, and not the clitoris.

The breasts thus need to be in constant contact with touch throughout the whole of love-making.

And it’s the breasts which are first touched at the start of love-making, not the clitoris and not the vagina.

In fact, the clitoris doesn’t need to be stimulated directly much at all if the breasts are getting plenty of attention.

By stimulating the breasts it also ensures that the clitoris is not over stimulated, and that the groundwork is being laid for an all-body ‘valley’ orgasm/orgasms as opposed to just one localised genital ‘peak’ orgasm.

Breast stimulation can also be the pathway to a ‘nipple-gasm’.

The Breasts Portal

In Tantra, the breasts represent the heart, energetically, so the breasts need to have lots of attention!

But what sort of stimulation are we talking about here? I dive into alot more detail in this blog post here and also in the webinar. However in short, all licking, sucking, flicking, fondling and caressing need to feature liberally on the menu.

The other positive about discovering more breast stimulation is that if you have any physical issues with your clitoris, for example, if you’ve had clitoral surgery, clitoral damage or clitoral removal (as is the culture in some countries), sexual arousal and deep satisfaction can still be reached via the breasts.

So How Do You Stimulate the Clitoris?

Of course, the clitoris still wants to be touched, as all parts of the body do, so we’re not talking about not touching the clitoris at all. But there are ways to stimulate the clitoris, and the timing of it, which are optimum for female arousal. For example, the clitoris particularly likes to be stroked downwards, as upwards can be painful. We dive into this topic in detail in the webinar.

Tantra can help you experience the mind-blowing, toe-curling sex you’ve always wanted. And at Sparkle Tantra, we can show you how, offering you the trusted wisdom of Tantric Sex in two ways…

  1. At Home… try our “Tantra for Couples & Singles Beginner’s Webinar” which is suitable for both Couples and Singles with no prior experience necessary. This step-by-step online course allows you to discover the skills and a pathway for more intimacy in the privacy of your own home. This webinar is a series of pre-recorded videos which you can stop and start at any time and watch on your phone, TV or laptop.
  2. 1-on-1… if you would prefer your own private sessions, work with Francesca one-on-one as either a Couple or a Single and she will guide you with customised sessions to suit your own personal needs. These one-on-one sessions are available over Skype, over the phone or in person. Reach out to Francesca for a chat about how she can help you at

We look forward to connecting with you at Sparkle Tantra soon

 Keep Sparkling Lovers

xx Francesca

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *